I'm like a bag of skittles...

And on the seventh day the Lord, our God, rested! Than on the eight day he created me, Robert Stacy! Then the Lord shouted across the universe "He is so beautiful! I must create an image to rival his gorgeousness"...thus a rainbow was born! At least I think it went something like that!


So this is my first blog! I know, totally lame...right? Ha! Somehow three girls convinced me that there might be people who are actually interested in the crap I say. But of course, it wouldn't be the first time a team of girls convinced me to do something I didn't really want to do (my butt still hurts from that "experiment")! Either way, here I am! Writing to basically no one about a bunch of stuff that I'm sure nobody wants to hear about! But hey, at least I know that there are at least three girls who will be following me and reading this blog! At least they better be!


Anyways, so I guess I'll start out with explaining who I am. A weirdo! No, seriously...I'm not right in the head! My childhood was full of a collection of events that would have turned any straight man gay! My mother and two sisters raised me (and dressed me in drag...that will be a later blog) so I tend to really feel what women feel, as opposed to what a man feels. Which is basically nothing more then sex, sports, beer, cars, and guns. In whatever order you would prefer to put that in. I relate to women. But not in a "let's hook up and make out" kind of way! No, it's more along the lines of "let's paint each other's toenails and gossip about cute boys all night long"! Well, I say let's talk about cute boys, but I'm not into guys sexually (it's sad that I even have to make that clear)! Actually, I've always thought of myself as a lesbian trapped in a man's body! You see, I'm basically a girl on the inside. I have all the traits. But man do I find women gorgeous! So much more then a hairy man! So despite my love for rainbows, glittery make up, lip gloss, tight shirts, salads, and dolphins...I am still technically a man!


Over the next few blogs I'll get more into detail about my unusual thoughts and my life in general . It will be a collection of stories, events, ideas and a description of the people who helped to shape me into the "man" I am today! I hope everyone enjoys! 


In the meantime, tell me this. Is it really so "gay" to shed a few tears over a rainbow? Sure, the one time I did cry over a rainbow I was on the end of a three day drinking binge and at that point I was so delusional that a box of crayons captivated me. Seriously, I was like..."this is childhood, crayons...WOW!" But hey, a rainbow is beautiful regardless! Whiskey binge or not! And so are a box of crayons when you're completely drunk and really lonely! Ha! 


So anyways, I ask you of this...go home, put on your silk robe, pour yourself a drink (may I suggest a pink flamingo or a sexy pony), pop in Cher's greatest hits, grab a fluffy pillow, pop open the computer, sit back and enjoy. Because the blogs I will be writing only get gayer from here on out!


And  yes...I typed all of this while soaking in the bathtub with a scented candle (cinnamon apple) burning next to me. Oh yeah, I'm on that level!